It’s ok not to share and other renegade rules of raising competent and compassionate kids. By Heather Shumaker. Tarcher/Penguin, 2012. Heather Shumaker is a member of the UU Congregation of Grand Traverse, Mich. Drawing on her own experiences as a parent, along with the work of child psychologists, pediatricians, and educators, Shumaker describes her quest to discover “the rules” of how to raise sensitive, smart, and self-sufficient kids.