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Back to school rituals

Back to school shopping (©Sean Locke/iStockphoto)

©Sean Locke/iStockphoto

For years now, our family’s annual August ritual has started with shopping: hitting the myriad of Back to School Specials, which are everywhere from Walmart to Walgreens. My kids are brutal to their backpacks, so our pilgrimage always involves picking out a new backpack and a new lunch box, too. The sales make August a convenient time to shop for new clothes, and it’s definitely time to trade in the sandals for a new pair of shoes.

When I was a child, I never could sleep the night before the first day of school, even with my First-Day-Of-School outfit all picked out and my backpack ready with supplies. Thoughts of what the next day held would hammer around in my brain along with the realization that tomorrow would set the schedule and the tone for the entire nine-months to come.

Because the start of school is a life transition that can be stressful for children and youth—who will be in new classrooms with new teachers, new peers, and sometimes even in a new building—parents can offer rituals to boost self-confidence and mark the time as something more than a time to acquire more clothes, shoes, and various school supplies.

Some Unitarian Universalist families will share a special family meal the night before school resumes, perhaps even lighting a chalice or a candle to mark this special evening. One mother, who lives in South Carolina, leads her family in a special blessing or prayer as part of the meal. Then she gives each of her children a copy of the prayer folded into a tiny square and taped closed to carry in their pocket as they head off to school on the first day. Another parent from Massachusetts passes out smooth stones at their celebratory dinner—stones that were collected as part of their summer trip to the beach—and encourages her children to take them to school along with their school supplies.

While so far I’ve stayed away from prayers in pockets or stones, I always fix a special breakfast the morning of the first day of school and leave a special treat in my children’s lunchboxes, along with a note reminding them of my support, affection, and confidence that they will have a great day and a great year to come.

And because we are a middle-class family in relatively good financial circumstances, as part of our annual shopping spree, I also make a point to purchase an extra backpack and pack it with school supplies to donate to the Back-To-School program in our area, which helps kids who are in need. This helps my children see that at important times during the year we need to be compassionate and mindful of others. Since we function from abundance and can afford new clothes and markers, rulers, and scissors, we have an obligation to help out others who do not.

What are some of the back-to-school rituals your family engages in? How do you support your children and youth as they make this annual shift from summer routines to school routines? If you are a home-schooling family, do you have special rituals to mark a similar transition?

  • Leilani Pearce

    I got this idea from a friend. She decorates the house while her kids are at school on the first day. So they come home to a first day of school celebration. They sit down and talk about how their day went, who is in their class and what they are most excited about. Then they play games, have dinner and a first day of school cake. I think I am going to try something similar, it’s inexpensive and it has helped her kids when they’ve had to move to a new school or deal with a first day that went horribly wrong.

    My eldest starts Kindergarten this next Monday. She has an independent
    spirit, and will most likely transition fine on her own. (Which makes me
    feel unneeded sometimes.) But education and learning is something to celebrate, and I think it will make her day that much more special.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1210711479 Tonya Pendroy

    We used to max out our credits cards or spend more money than we should on school clothing and supplies. We would buy new back packs each year along with lunch boxes and other items. We fell on hard times after we listed our house and the housing market crashed one month later. We lived in another location and kept it on the market for six hard months. We were in a “bait and switch” ARM loan at the time. We were forced to refinance and now have one of those high payments we shouldn’t have. I know many others out there are in our situation and my heart goes out to you <3

    We now buy most of my girls clothing used. We check out the donation stores (such as Goodwill, Value Village…) and consignment stores. We have found Ebay a great asset! We have been paying from $0.50 to $1.00 per item in clothing lots, many of them brand name items. We bought them one high end back pack a few years ago. I made sure that they had a lifetime warranty for any defects or damage. They will be on year three with those. We buy items that are usually on their supplies list all Summer. I stock up on items when on sale that I know they will need replaced throughout the year. We are Military, sometimes there are donations made to Operation Homefront for that. You have to pre-register for these events. They do not disclose the location until one week prior. Even after the generous assistance, school supplies cost us $80.00 last year, for two Elementary kids, for the items we hadn't received
    We are fortunate that both my daughter's Birthdays are one month apart in August and September. That is usually when they receive new items for school from ourselves and family. However, it can be just as frustrating when planning and funding Birthday Parties and gifts at the same time.

    Initially my kids had a hard time shopping for used items. We explained about finances being tight. We also explained about the things we can buy and how much we save. We show them what we paid for the item at the used stores then show them the same item listed in the stores. If kids are included they learn so many invaluable life skills. We explain why we do not shop at Walmart, or other stores that exploit labor overseas. We told them that saving a couple of dollars each month isn't worth supporting those companies. We also explained about supply and demand. They are turning 12 and 9. They are learning more than most High School children know about financial stability. We keep it from being stressful.
    The night before school we talk about expectations, what they are excited about, what they are scared of and what being a friend means. They start getting back in to a school schedule one week before. I wake up early and make them a special breakfast. I want them to go in to that school with their heads high and their tummy's full.

  • Terri Hansen

    We homeschool here so our ritual has come to be truly off beat from the way others mark the return of September.
    On my child’s best friend’s first official day of school, we go out for a special meal and to buy a few brand new school supplies (now on deep discount).  We then choose a local park or museum that would normally be crowded, and go enjoy having the place nearly to ourselves.Our “big” event happens the week of Labor Day.  On the morning after Labor Day, we head out for our family “Not Going Back To School Trip.”  Last year we camped for three days at a beach park, went swimming, dug in the sand, explored the park, and basically learned about whatever presented itself (how to build a campfire, pitching a tent, WWII history, shoreline science).  This year we couldn’t camp (thanks Tropical Storm Lee), so we spent two nights in a really nice hotel at the Inner Harbor of Baltimore (thanks Name Your Own Price on Priceline!).  We went to the Maryland Science Center and spent hours exploring the displays and learning some really cool stuff, with no crowds at all.  The next day we splurged on tickets to the National Aquarium and really took our time seeing all there was to see.  You never get to do that normally because the crowds are so crazy.

    I don’t know how many years we will be homeschooling, but for as long as we do, there will be a “Not Going Back To School Trip” for us!

  • Allysson McDonald

    My son goes to a charter school quite a distance from home.  For years we’ve been carpooling with several local families.  This year the carpool underwent a big change as some families moved away and other families joined.  We started out with an ice cream party in the park one evening so the kids could meet everyone!  I think this may be a new tradition.

  • Kim Doty

    I was so proud of my son this year – he said he didn’t need a new backpack, his old one was fine and he could ‘reduce’ that way (reduce, reuse, recycle)!  I buy new clothes as needed throughout the year (and accept  hand-me-downs from church friends) but do make sure they have one new outfit for back-to-school.