Motherhood in the media

The Rev. Dr. Cynthia Landrum responds to Time magazine’s provocative cover photo, which shows a mother breastfeeding her three-year-old son, and to its “Are you mom enough?” headline.

[Time magazine] took a picture that made extended breast-feeding look as freakishly weird as possible. I say that while still supporting that there is nothing wrong with what is depicted. But given that in our society extended breastfeeding is seen as unusual at best and as “wrong and perverted” as some comments have said about this picture, the cover photo is a picture that did everything it could to make the situation look even more abnormal and wrong. (Rev. Cyn, May 15)

Sara from The Curriculum of Love weighs in on this latest skirmish in the “Mommy Wars.”

Are the Mommy Wars real? I don’t really see folks getting into fights about parenting choices face to face. But in print, or on the internet, there we go to extremes and fight. The idea that there is some perfect way to parent, or to live, just baffles me. All there is is our own human frailty, blinding groping toward living the life that human dignity demands of us—a life of integrity in compliance with what our hearts call us to do. (The Curriculum of Love, May 12)

Idealism, realism and reconciliation

The Rev. David Owen-O’Quill responds to post-Boomers who are weary of the culture wars.

The question of how do we reconcile is huge. The point that attacking one another doesn’t seem to be the answer is well taken. However, as someone firmly on the side of gay acceptance for faith reasons, and definitely on the side of extending equality under the law, I get troubled sometimes by the talk of reconciliation. I wonder how much of it is a reaction against the messiness, chaos, and conflict that such culture wars produce. (news from the spiritual underground, May 16)

Finding our religion

Christine Slocum wonders about a UU version of the evangelical Christian book, Blue Like Jazz.

The book is a coming of age story for twenty-something, open-hearted evangelical Christians trying to find meaning in an old system that does not necessarily speak to them.

I wonder what the Unitarian Universalist equivalent would be? It seems there could be one, as there are a lot of stories in the blogosphere about feeling alienated, struggling to find meaning, and so forth. What stories would populate that book? Who would write it? (Seattleite from Syracuse, May 15)

In the second of two posts on raising her atheist and agnostic sons, Sarah MacLeod writes about asking her boys what they do believe.

As a strong proponent of a free and meaningful spiritual search for each individual, I’m fine with my children’s choices, which may be temporary or permanent. Either way is fine with me.

But.

Yes, there’s a but. . . . My “but” goes like this: those labels tell me what you don’t believe and nothing about what you do. Without a sense of what one then does hold sacred, important, or true, those are labels of negation (atheism) and uncertainty (agnosticism). There’s nothing wrong with either, but to me, left alone, they are immature and incomplete. (Finding My Ground, May 15)

Congregations and beyond

The Rev. Dr. Terasa Cooley shares next steps in the “Congregations and Beyond” process.

I have to say I am simultaneously excited and scared. . . . The excitement part for me is probably obvious: it’s an incredible privilege to work at what feels like the beginning of a huge culture shift in UUism. . . . The scary part is that we really don’t know what “it” is yet. I’m usually quite comfortable with this; I even teach and preach the virtues of holding ourselves in creative space without rushing to conclusions or outcomes. But I also know that there are many people out there who are looking for conclusions and outcomes! (Learn Out Loud, May 13)

Thomas Earthman wonders if we should push beyond congregations, beyond Facebook, to a missional social media platform.

The idea is to mirror some of the work that is being done on other social media, but in a place that is devoted to UUs and not clogged with everyone else’s friends, ads, and games. I want a place where people can come and focus on being part of a larger movement. I want a place where we can support each other, discuss crazy ideas, and not fear judgement and ridicule for wanting to speak radically about our faith. (A Material Sojourn, May 17)

Around the blogosphere

The Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern asks, “What annual income are folks are expected to live on in your area? Do you think it’s feasible?”

Setting the minimum wage far below the poverty level is one of the biggest pieces of corporate welfare we Americans fund. Instead of businesses paying people a living wage, they pay wages at which a full-time worker–or even two full-time workers–can’t support a family, and the taxpayers step in to fill the gap with welfare programs. Or, more usually, the gap just stays a gap. (Sermons in Stones, May 16)

The Rev. Dan Harper describes his multi-ethnic neighborhood, and then explains why he thinks his neighbors wouldn’t be welcome in most UU congregations.

Mostly . . . I think the problem lies in the misguided notion held by many Unitarian Universalists that we are supposed to feel comfortable hanging out with everyone in our congregation. We feel we must achieve a social consensus; we must have congregations where there are no divides of any kind.

That’s why people in my neighborhood won’t fit into a Unitarian Universalist congregation. Yet I believe they might go to a liberal congregation if there were no implicit social consensus they were expected to fit into. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, May 14)

The Rev. Ed Searl shares the introduction he uses in same-sex marriage ceremonies. (Ed Searl’s Journal, May 13)

Watching the movie, The Descendants, prompts the Rev. Naomi King to write about advanced medical directives. (The Wonderment, May 11)

Marriage equality

After long months of hard work opposing North Carolina’s “marriage amendment,” the Rev. Robin Tanner asks, “Are we defeated?”

The better question, friends, is: Are we ready? Tomorrow morning, we will rise and wake to a new day. . . . The faith and devotion of those who have gone before us beg us to step forward. From Stonewall to today, they urge us onward and ask a single question: Are we ready? (Piedmont Preacher, May 9)

Kathleen McGregor feels battered by everything that happened this week in the fight over marriage equality.

The congratulations, and requests that we thank Obama for “evolving” on this “issue” do not feel right on a day after 61% of North Carolina voters enshrined bigotry in their constitution for the second time. . . . I think that I am supposed to be happy that Democrats will start coming out in favor of marriage equality. Well, pardon me if it feels like too little, too late. (Both/And, May 9)

For Andy Coate, it’s important to celebrate victories along the way, even though equality has not yet been won and other injustices also call for action.

This is an issue I’ve been passionately fighting for for years. Marriage equality DOES still matter; we cannot wait for everything to be perfectly aligned, for all other injustices to be healed before we celebrate any wins. I’m happy that Obama came out in favor of marriage equality. I’m going to celebrate that. (thoughts ON, May 9)

The Rev. Bill Sinkford acknowledges the complexity of our reactions to this week’s news stories about marriage equality.

Our task is to live buoyed by the hope that developments like Obama’s statement provide while, at the same time, knowing that there will be setbacks like the North Carolina decision.

So we celebrate, we mourn and we commit ourselves to the on-going work of creation. It is no simple task, but it is what we are called to do. (Rev. Sinkford’s Blog, May 10)

My Country, ‘Tis of Thee

The Rev. Sam Trumbore provides a thoughtful examination of the Doctrine of Discovery, which will be a focus of discussion at this year’s General Assembly.

Given the large indigenous population in Arizona, and the historical connection with the indigenous population in Mexico, the focus for us to pay attention to the Doctrine of Discovery makes a lot more sense. The Doctrine of Discovery connects with the setting of national borders between the United States and Mexico that bisected the lands of some Native peoples. Remember the Southwest came into U.S. possession through war with Mexico. Our partners like to say, “We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.” (Rev. Sam Trumbore, May 8)

When Representative Michelle Bachmann’s dual citizenship leads to charges of “civic bigamy,” the Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern begins to consider what “allegiance” to one’s country means.

“Allegiance” is just not a word I apply to my relationship with my country, certainly not undivided allegiance. That allegiance . . . is shared with the commitment I make to all living things; to humanity as a whole; to the truth, as best as I can perceive it; and to the aims of liberty and justice for all, which is the only phrase in the Pledge of Allegiance that ever moved me. (Sermons in Stones, May 10)

The Rev. David Pyle has just finished reading a near-future science fiction novel, in which the United States has become nearly irrelevant—while still holding on to the idea of American Exceptionalism.

Whenever I think of American Exceptionalism, I think of the speech given by Ronald Reagan where he talked about the “City on the Hill”, paraphrasing the Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (though second-hand, through John Winthrop). Perhaps it is time we realize that Reagan got the scripture wrong. . . . The metaphor of the City on the Hill was not about that city being exceptional in its own right. It was about the need for the city that all can see to behave in a way that inspires all of humankind. What would make such a city exceptional was not what it was, or who founded it, or whatever ideals they might have. It was how they behaved. (Celestial Lands, May 10)

Facing an uncertain future

The Rev. David Owen-O’Quill reviews the recent book by Diana Butler Bass, Christianity After Religion: The End of Church and the Birth of a New Spiritual Awakening.

This “fourth great awakening” is transforming the way we understand faith, the church, and ourselves. It effects not only the overtly spiritual matters but the realms of ethics, community, politics, and culture. The question for the church is not if things are going to change but how is that change going to come about. How will the traditional institutions respond. Will they support leadership adapting to the new cultural realities, will they ignore such efforts, or will they sabotage them. . . . Its an open-ended question. (News from the Spiritual Underground, May 9)

Tom Wilson finds hope for the future of Unitarian Universalism, not in transformational experiences, but in steady, incremental improvements.

[R]adical transformation is a buzzword in some UU circles. But is this a piece of Christian baggage that we would be well rid of? Radical change sometimes happens. But like winning the lottery, it is of note exactly because it is so rare. . . . [We] are better served by attentive practice and incremental change. It’s not as sexy as winning the transformation lottery, but many small enlightenments may take us where we want to go. And if they don’t––at least we’ll be enlightened. (Musings and Essays, May 5)

John Beckett offers advice for living in a world that seems to be on the brink of catastrophe.

Start small, practice, work on yourself, practice, help someone else, practice, set a good example, and practice some more. You’ll persuade far more people to live responsibly by happily living responsibly yourself than by angrily demanding changes that people aren’t ready to make. (Under the Ancient Oaks, May 8)

Around the blogosphere

After reading a list of “Seven Things to Avoid when Talking to Strangers about Humanism,” the Rev. Dan Harper translates the list for Unitarian Universalists who want to talk about their faith.

“Don’t talk about God.” It turns out that most people aren’t that interested in having theological discussions about whether or not God exists, and if God does exist what is the nature of God . . . . When someone asks me about my Unitarian Universalist congregation, I tell them about the amazing Sunday services, the great people who are part of the congregation, the fun that the kids have in Sunday school, the social justice work that we do; there’s never time to even get to God. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, May 7)

Doug Muder shares the text of his presentation, “A Humanist Approach to Death.”

A few weeks ago I found myself at a funeral where no doctrine of the afterlife was preached. . . . Instead of speculating about where she is now, the service celebrated the life that she had led, the kind of person she was, and the effect she had on those who knew her. I came away from that funeral with two impressions: First, that this woman had really lived. And second, that living a human life is a pretty cool thing to be able to do. In short, that funeral was an inspiring, upbeat event. (Free and Responsible Search, May 6)

Gated religious communities

Sarah MacLeod writes that when Unitarian Universalists fall short of our commitment to pluralism, we hinder UU interfaith work.

I’ve overheard heated rants about Christians and theism during coffee hour. It’s embarrassing, given the UU commitment to supporting free spiritual searches by all and to protecting the worth and dignity of all humans. . . . Sure, we teach our children and ourselves about the religions of the world, but that’s not interfaith work. And badmouthing any religion in a church committed to supporting religious freedom is downright contradictory to even beginning true interfaith work. (Finding My Ground, May 2)

The Rev. Fred Muir suggests that UU congregations can be like gated communities—havens that welcome only like-minded members.

I can already hear and feel some push-back—of course we aren’t, we’re not gated! . . . Really? Anyone is welcome? No gate? Or are there people and families for whom the gate is closed, while for others the gate is open? . . . Let’s look for the gates to our church, to our way of religion. Let’s think about who gets in and who doesn’t. . . . Together let’s answer the call to open the gate, greet others with hospitality, and become a community where we “inspire and empower bold and compassionate living.” (Building the UU Beloved Community, May 2)

How does a church run?

As the Rev. Christana Wille McKnight gives visitors a church tour, one of them asks, ““How does a church run, anyways? Where does your money come from?”

As I explained . . . [offerings and pledging] to our guests . . . their eyes grew wide. “You mean, a church has to run things like a business?” one of them questioned in disbelief. “You have to have income and expenses and salaries and everything?” I nodded. Surprisingly, she smiled. “That’s so cool. So this church really is about being for the people and by the people—a real community.” (Ordinary Days, May 2)

The Rev. Kent Hemmen-Saleska’s congregation has been transitioning to Policy Governance®, and he shares the wisdom of Laura Park, a consultant with Unity Consulting.

Part of my commitment to this model stems from my belief that it better supports democracy than other approaches to governance I’ve seen. That belief starts with how I understand democracy. I understand democracy to mean that it’s clear how the voice of the whole finds its way into the decisions of our elected leaders. (Moving in Faith, April 30)

In a series of posts, the Rev. Dan Harper shares the text of his Pacific Central District presentation, “Transform and Grow Your RE Program.”

As you will see, growth is not rocket science; growth is all about patient attention to detail. I think you will find this presentation to be quite different from other Unitarian Universalist approaches to growth: it’s kind of geeky; it’s not exciting; it lacks sexy jargon terms; and it’s all about management and administration. However, since the exciting, sexy, theological approaches don’t seem to be working all that well, maybe you should check out my approach. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, April 27)

Taming inner monsters

Jacqueline Wolven acknowledges that generosity of spirit does not come naturally to her.

I want to be loving and kind and filled with generous words of spirit—and mean it. . . . It just takes me a minute to get there. What happens is like a quick monster overcomes my heart and I feel myself tense up into a knot as it grabs all the kind words out of my throat and stuffs them in to my belly. . . . If I can just take one breath, I can move through that feeling into something else. Sometimes it takes just a moment and I remind myself what I really want for others—not the stinginess that swells inside. Other times it takes months, maybe even years. (MoxieLife, April 30)

The Rev. Lisa Ward gathers her inner strength, and faces her moderate fear of heights, by embarking on a ziplining adventure.

When my arms became wobbly, again more from fear than logic, I . . . extended my arms out to encourage the flow of chi, and trusted that the fear could accompany me and ride into joy. This discipline accompanied me throughout the three hour journey, filled with sights and sounds and laughter that keep me smiling to this day. (Pondering on the Path, May 2)

Losing faith

Gary Lerude highlights an NPR story about the Rev. Teresa MacBain, a Methodist minister who recently “came out” as an atheist.

After the internal conflict became too much to bear and she declared her true belief—or lack of—she had to resign and face ostracism from her church community. Had she been a Unitarian Universalist, her questioning would have been encouraged, her atheism accepted, her spirit nurtured. (Be Spiritual, May 1)

Commenting on the same story, the Rev. Jeff Liebmann writes that being an atheist minister requires more faith, not less.

The atheist minister believes in the beloved community, a world with peace, social justice, economic fairness, and freedom. The atheist minister knows that someday, we will build a world in which every child is fed, everyone has a home, all illness is treated, and each person is free to pursue their path in life and proclaim their own identity.

As John Lennon sang, “you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you’ll join us and the world will live as one.” Welcome, Teresa, to the covenant of dreamers. (uujeff’s muse kennel and pizzatorium, May 1)

Professional UU leadership

The Rev. Tom Schade outlines several problems in professional religious leadership, and a few solutions.

We need “super-congregational” structures that function as employers. (By “super” I mean “above” not “better”.) These structures would allow multiple congregations to share ministers, musicians, religious educators and administrators. One idea would be for the flagship congregations in a region to actually employ a larger staff, providing services to smaller, local congregations and billing them appropriately. Perhaps Districts and Regions could become employers.

If the UUA can run a professional health insurance company, there is no reason why it cannot create or contract with a third party to provide payroll services for all congregations, thus standardizing and professionalizing this function. (the lively tradition, April 30; see also May 1)

Katy Carpman celebrates the completion of her process of becoming a Credentialed Religious Educator.

Moments before entering the room, my chaplain mentioned, “And Eliot Chapel has the Channing pulpit.” I did not really have time to be stupefied that I was about to preach from the same pulpit as William Ellery Channing. . . .

I did not set myself on fire as I lit the chalice. (MissDRE and Wonder, May 3)

Matt Kinsi, who hopes to become a director of religious education, wrestles with the question of how to get the experience he needs.

I assume there’s some kind of farm system for experience—be a quarter time DRE somewhere for a while before becoming a full time DRE. But that’s not possible for me—I can’t work in a less than full time position and make the ends meet. (Spirituality and Sunflowers, May 2)

Around the blogosphere


Christine Leigh Slocum reports in from the May Day protests in Seattle.

The vandalism frustrates me. . . . There is a perception that going to these protests comes with those risks, not because you may be violent but as a result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time because the police are trigger happy and the anarchists are provocateurs. . . . I would argue that incurring fear is only an effective tactic if you are arguing that you can protect the fearful from the target, not when you are becoming the entity to be feared. (Seattleite from Syracuse, May 2)

As she completes more than a year of grant work related to helping congregations set up and practice digital ministry, June Herold issues a “last call” for input about how UUs would prefer to receive and use the information she’s gathered. (The New UU, May 2)

Herold also provides a Spanish translation of UU President Peter Morales’ “Congregations and Beyond” sermon, preached in English at the UU Church of Arlington, Virginia. (The New UU, May 2)