God was not in the wind

After this week’s devastating tornado in Oklahoma, the Rev. Lynn Ungar addresses God’s role in natural disasters.

How I hate that phrase, act of God. As if God would come down from the clouds to smite a town out of, what, spite? Vengeance? God does not cause weather events, not out of a need to punish infidels and homosexuals, and not because he needed to call his children home to be with him. You will not find God in the great wind, any more than Elijah did.

. . . . God is in all the people who see the suffering that is, and the suffering to come, and who choose compassion and justice and the hope of a better world. (Quest for Meaning, May 21)

The Rev. Dr. David Breeden, who comes from Tornado Alley, writes a poem, “Benediction for the Wind (on the occasion of a killer tornado).”

What better way for
the screaming winds
to set us praying
than the cold logic
of random chance?

What better way
to hold sanity and
loved ones close than
to set to praying? (Way of Oneness, May 23)

For Roberta Hecking, the tornado was a reminder of technology’s relative powerlessness in the face of Nature.

Entire towns were flattened in a matter of minutes. Dazed and traumatized faces dominated the nightly news. All our technology couldn’t stop a tornado. Whether we wanted to or not, for a brief moment, the culture bowed to wildness, to Nature in full fury. Did we get the message? Do we understand that the Earth is primary, and we are derivative? (Breath and Water, May 23)

Writing that “life is not safe,” the Rev. Ellen Cooper-Davis encourages us to deal with our fears by building relationships.

Coming to grips with our natural vulnerability, with the stark reality that no matter how hard we try, there is never any guarantee of safety for any of us, can earn us some freedom from fear, and the ability to live life more fully. Turn off the evening news, which makes it sound like every shadow is lurking danger, and send your kids out to play in the lengthening evening. Let go of suspicion and throw a block party so you can meet all of your neighbors. Because when disaster comes, what we will need most is not our illusions of safety, but each other. (Keep the Faith, May 22)

Mandie McGlynn created this graphic, illustrating the W.H. Auden quote, “We must love one another or die.” (UU Media Collaborative Works, May 22)

Walking the winding path

Jordinn, a new seminarian, worries about losing her faith.

Because the truth is, having known it, I don’t want to be without it. I want to feel it. I want to hold it in my hands when it’s been weeks or months or please not years of talking about God instead of connecting with God. (Raising Faith, May 21)

The Rev. Erik Walker Wikstrom remembers a spirited conversation between two people about vocation and the spiritual journey.

Visually I remember the way the campfire highlighted only their eyes as they talked.  And if “eyes are the windows of the soul” then there was a true conversation, perhaps even a true communion of sorts, between those two souls. . . .

And one of the things I believe that evening did for me was to awaken a delight in such conversations that has only grown over the intervening years. . . . There are few things that bring me to life more than really engaging deeply and courageously with someone else’s spiritual journey; seeing how it’s been for them and sharing how it’s been for me. . . . And every so often I get to have one during which it seems that everything else fades away but our eyes, and I can almost smell the woodsmoke. (Minister’s Musing, May 20)

The Rev. Andy Burnette’s tattoo symbolizes his journey through Pentecostal and evangelical Christian churches to ministry in Unitarian Universalist congregations.

The image as a whole is the flaming chalice of Unitarian Universalism. I expect to spend the rest of my life as a proud evangelical Unitarian Universalist minister. But I don’t leave anything behind. Every transition I have made is a signpost on my journey, and my tattoo is a symbol of my refusal either to be forced into orthodoxy or to leave behind the lessons of my past. (Just Wondering, May 13)

Making noise for justice

The Rev. Jude Geiger thanks those “making noise” for LGBT justice, even though he feels too numb to join the protesters.

I wanted to want to join the rally. But I couldn’t draw myself out. I wanted to be normal for another day. I wanted not to have to go out and be gay—publicly. I couldn’t stir myself to feel like a rally would do anything. That same night, another gay man was assaulted, not far from my home, on the East side—as if the rally had no meaning. (HuffPost Religion, May 23)

Thomas Earthman hopes that, when Unitarian Universalist congregations participate in Pride parades, they are motivated by a desire for justice, rather than by a desire for additional members.

At what point does our mission to gather after service and carpool to the Parade simply mirror the pilgrimage of the fundamentalist group, where members may not have strong feeling about the LGBT community, but feel compelled to protest the calls for equality as a sign of their faith?

We don’t need publicized missions. We don’t need uniforms. We don’t need national campaigns designed around visibility. We need people, moved by faith, doing good in every part of their lives. If we can inspire that, then we will already have changed the world. (A Material Sojourn, May 16)

Communities of grace

Reponding to the UU blogosphere’s conversation last week about the term, “Beloved Community,” the Rev. Joanna Fontaine Crawford shares what she has learned from studying of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Beloved Community is not held within our church walls. As soon as you begin to think like that, you have moved into the exact opposite of beloved community, because in creating that definition of community, you have necessarily created otherness. There is the community inside our walls, the people who think like us, act like us, look like us. And there are the people who are not part of that community, the “others.” This is not Beloved Community. Royce distinguished between small “communities of grace” that were loyal to the greater cause of the universal Beloved Community and those who were insular, often “predatory,” in their loyalty to their own. (Boots and Blessings, May 22)

June Herold asks, “Are hurt-free, mentally-healthy working professionals turned off in our churches” by an excessive focus on “brokenness”?

I have been surprised that many of my colleagues and friends have walked into UU churches over the last few decades but never returned. Stripping away time management issues, queasiness about religion in general and other typical factors, more often than not, people I have known—highly functioning individuals—say they just don’t fit in. (The New UU, May 23)

The Rev. Tony Lorenzen writes that there is “a Pentecost going on among Unitarian Universalists.”

People are coming alive and beginning to live their lives on fire. Unitarian Universalism is wrestling in a very deep way with what it means to live life every day as if being a Unitarian Universalist can change individual lives and change the world.  Unitarian Universalist are finding that their religion is not about going to church but about being the church. (Sunflower Chalice, May 18)

Doug Muder offers “an imperfect introduction to Unitarian Universalism,” a draft of his unfinished book, Unitarian Universalism 101. (Free and Responsible Search, May 21)

Living with vulnerability

Rebecca Hecking’s forty-seventh birthday brings reflections about mortality.

Mortality is our companion on the human journey, whether we acknowledge it or not. . . Lately, I turn and nod. Mortality smiles gently back at me. We see each other. We are not yet well acquainted, but I expect we will be in due time. She has become a companion, this goddess of the finite. And I’m finding that instead of fearing her, I rather like her. She keeps me grounded. She nudges me in the direction of being mindful. She points to the night sky, to billions of unknowable galaxies stretching back countless eons, and keeps me in my place. (Breath and Water, May 16)

John Beckett writes about loving Nature during tornado season in Texas.

Nature is beautiful and terrible, creative and destructive. We are a part of Nature, but only a part: not the center and not the head. When we learn to see things as they are, we can develop a deep connection with Nature and a love for Nature, even as we mourn the losses caused by Nature. (Under the Ancient Oaks, May 16)

Terri Pahucki affirms the underlying trust that upholds us in the uncertainty of life.

Life whispers—I cannot give you promises that you will not die. I cannot give you promises that you will succeed. I cannot give you promises that there will not be pain. But I do know—yes, I know this rose will open. Get closer, and let your fears burn away by the quiet fire. Get closer, and listen, Life cries—touch me. Touch me and let your soul unfurl its wings.  (Walking the Journey, May 15)

Losing ourselves, gaining ourselves

The Rev. Tom Schade invites Unitarian Universalists to see our “peculiar history” as a path toward increasing universality.

The present generation of Unitarian Universalists are anxious and full of self-doubt. They live in a world where they think that it 5% or 10% growth in our tiny numbers would be astonishing. They think that only those who understand their very peculiar historical path would be willing to join them.

What they don’t realize is that their very peculiar history has been a process of shedding everything that stands in the way of their universality. They now stand naked, shorn of dogma, shedding their ethnicity and class, clothed only in their willingness to be open, to be reverent, to be in solidarity with others, to embrace the limits of their knowledge, to hold to their own self-possession. (The Lively Tradition, May 15)

For the Rev. Dr. David Breeden, the day when marriage equality became the law in Minnesota was “a bad day for creeds,” and a good day for the living, ever-evolving revelation of Thoreau and Emerson.

A bad day for creeds;
a bad day for stares;
a bad day for blind
obedience to blundering

oracles, as Henry put
it long ago. A bad day
for obedience. . . .

A good day to speak
of Henry and Ralph
erasing themselves

into revelation, to
you, on and on, a good
day to write ourselves. (Way of Oneness, May 16)

Walter Clark makes an extended metaphor from the skin-shedding “blue period” of his daughter’s corn snake, whose eyes are clouded and colors muted during the process.

When we think of change, we often think about our “blue period” where we will be itchy and our vision will be clouded. We may think that hibernation is a better option than change, to just sit still and let everything grow around us. We cannot grow without changing in some way, and we are always growing. Like Butterscotch, change can be difficult to adapt to, but without it, our colors will always be a little gray. (Lack of a Clever Title, May 11)

Jessica Ferguson creates a graphic from the words of the Rev. Jim Robinson:  ”Being part of a Unitarian Universalist community means being on an adventure of discovery.” (UU Media Collaborative Works, May 14)

Practicing good manners

The Rev. Lynn Ungar writes about the importance of consent in negotiating boundaries between ourselves and our neighbors.

Civility presumes a) that you understand that you are not the center of the universe, which means that other people have needs and desires that are different than your own and b) that you can find out people’s needs and desires by asking. Really, does that seem so very difficult?

. . . . We human beings are a community. We belong with one another. But we do not belong to one another, and the sooner we start acting like it, the better. (Quest for Meaning, May 15)

Thalassa shares her list of “Interfaith Etiquette” guidelines, including a “netiquette” version geared toward blog posting and commenting.

Disagreement is not a statement of unworthiness of another, or superiority of one’s self. . . . But maybe we need to learn to disagree with one another better. This is where manners come into the picture.  I don’t think that having manners means leaving disagreement behind. In all actuality, I think that part of having manners is being respectfully honest. (Musings of a Kitchen Witch, May 15)

Questioning ‘beloved community’

The Rev. Christine Robinson questions a too-glib use of the term “beloved community.”

This bit of jargon might be best used only with church leaders who can appreciate its history and unpack its meaning. Less committed folks might feel like they are being sucked into something more than they bargain for or, alternatively, may discover that the church actually can’t promise them the level of help and intimacy which is implied by that term, “beloved.” (iMinister, May 12)

June Herold wonders if “beloved community” is aspirational, particularly considering the challenge of living in right relationship.

The way congregants treat each other and ministers, and vice versa, is often way out of line.  The way the UUA and congregations relate to one another at times appears disingenuous, if not in direct conflict. . . . Meanwhile, many congregations can feel like  community centers and not houses of faith tied together by a denominational identity, despite the UUA’s best efforts to bring us all together. (The New UU, May 16)

Snubbed by an usher at a bricks-and-mortar UU congregation, and welcomed by friends in an online worship service, Sean Neil-Barron writes about the differences between the two experiences.

I found God more in a Hangout than in flesh and blood church last week. I found more connection from singing awkwardly in my living room than singing with hundreds of fellow UUs in a historic church. I found more relief from seeing my friends’ faces than listening to a great sermon in a community that seemed to pass me by.

Church is more than community. It’s more than a message. It’s more than a welcome. It’s more than just living out your values together. But when one of these things isn’t there, no matter how good the rest of it is, I know I won’t be staying. (Spark Within, May 12)

Advocacy and celebration

Talking with a stranger on a flight out of Orlando, Diane Daniel reveals that she is partnered with a woman, but stays in the closet about the fact that her wife used to be her husband.

I was digging myself deeper and deeper, all the while telling him how I felt like living an authentic life was important, and the more people could “come out” the better. . . . While I was “coming out,” I was also “staying in.”

. . . . So, who knows, maybe our exchange will help make a closeted lesbian’s life a little better and further the push toward gay marriage. I certainly didn’t help the transgender cause one little bit. Maybe next time? I’ll see how I feel. (She Was the Man of My Dreams, May 16)

The Rev. Meg Riley shares why Minnesota’s marriage equality victory is so sweet for her.

The self-righteous, narrow-minded, divisive thinking that led Republicans to put constitutional bans on same sex marriage into constitutions in 30 prior states—shamelessly hurting families as a Get Out The Vote strategy—backfired spectacularly in Minnesota. . . .

By the end of the Vote No campaign, 27,000 people had talked with people they knew and loved, barely knew, or didn’t know at all about marriage, love, commitment, and what kind of state we want Minnesota to be. Conversations were civil, respectful, dialogues, not name-calling or rejection. (HuffPost Religion, May 15)

Measuring growth

Conversation continued this week about the proposed consultant who will help the Board and Administration find common ground.

The Rev. Tom Schade suggests that we have been shame-obsessed for too long, always asking ourselves the unhelpful question, “What’s wrong with us?”

Our shame is so great that we split it into two different emotions. One is grandiosity. Officially, we believe that Unitarian Universalism is the bestest, coolest, most wonderful religion possible in the whole wide world. . . . The other piece of our coping strategy is project the shame onto some other group of UU’s, whom we blame for what’s wrong with us. . . .

The question that ought to be foremost in our thinking is this: what can we do to nurture and develop open-hearted, reverent, fair-minded, self-possessed, generous and grateful people.  (The Lively Tradition, May 3)

The Rev. Christine Robinson, senior minister of the thriving First Unitarian of Albuquerque, writes about the difficulty of planning and budgeting for growth, and the imperative to move beyond conflict.

Budgeting for vitality and growth is a matter of guesses, hopes, and projections. Strategic planning is a matter of courageous guessing, not of reassuring a skeptical boss who wants guarantees of outcomes.

I do know one thing about growth and vitality, however, which has nothing to do with reports and budgets, and that is that growth and vitality do not co-exist with the kind of conflict that the board and administration have engaged in over the past four years.  . . . We live in a cultural era unfavorable to the health and vitality of religious institutions, which are shrinking, threatened, and dying all around us. This is no small matter and we are so tiny that we can not afford to waste our time on conflict. (iMinister, May 6)

UUA Trustee Linda Laskowski clarifies the consultant’s purpose.

This is not about “marriage counseling” or “a consultant to work out their relationship”; it is about a nuanced and complex set of skills needed to “measure the unmeasurable.”

. . . . How willing are you to continue to invest in an organization whose mission has lofty goals, but can’t tell you if we are making progress towards them? I do not think this is easy, nor do I think it is impossible. (UUA View from Berkeley, May 5)

The Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern wonders how we might measure maturational growth, rather than numerical growth.

What if we randomly sampled a group of members each year and asked them some questions that would reveal the maturity of their spiritual lives? Or followed several over the course of several years, in a longitudinal survey? What questions might we ask? (Sermons in Stones, May 3)

Practical considerations

Kari Kopnick writes that one of the most important tasks for UU congregations is taking care of their non-clergy workers—particularly their religious educators.

I know there’s a fuss about metrics and growth and mission and vision and leadership in the big picture UU stuff right now. I don’t know what to do about that, either. But we could remember that these are people who do the work, and people who deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. . . .

Pay a living wage, give time off, support professional development. And hey all you big-wigs, remember that ministers and metrics and end statements are not the only reason churches and institutions thrive or fail. Start with people, end with people and take care of the people in between. It’s not the big answer, but it’s a place to start. (Chalice Spark, May 9)

Tim Atkins proposes a UU “center for innovation” that promotes skill-sharing and skill-building.

We as a faith need a place where innovators can go and get nurtured. To learn and get those skills they need. To meet and network with other innovators, to share struggles and strategies and victories. Whether they be ordained or lay. (Tim Atkins, May 9)

The Rev. Sean Dennison quotes Tim Atkins in this image from the UU Media Collaborative.

Marriage equality

After working hard to defeat last year’s anti-equality amendment in Minnesota, the Rev. Meg Riley is delighted that marriage equality seems to be moving through the state’s legislature with ease.

The thing is, if the Traditional Marriage zealots hadn’t pushed that awful ballot initiative at us, I don’t think we’d be doing this. But all of that grassroots organizing morphed seamlessly into a fight for marriage equality we’d never thought we could win. . . . So today I’ll be walking around the Minnesota House and the State Capitol with a big grin on my face, talking to people about when, where and how they plan to get married. (HuffPost Religion, May 9)

“Marry in Massachusetts” notes, with some surprise, that marriage equality seems to have passed a tipping point.

I thought getting this far would take another decade or two. Once I saw that my boomer generation was little better than our parents on gay rights, I feared for the nation until most of us from both groups had died. I, fortunately, was wrong. America is tired of the irrational and emotional crap and its distractions. (Marry in Massachusetts, May 9)

A resting place

Several UU bloggers weighed in on the issue of a burial place for Tamerlan Tsarnaev.

For the Rev. Gary Kowalski, who currently serves as interim minister at the First Unitarian Church of Worcester, providing a proper burial is a mark of a civilized society.

Whether you consider him a heinous murderer, a misguided soul, a terrorist, or all of the above, he was also a human being: not an animal, an object or a piece of refuse. I have zero tolerance for his cause and condemn his actions, even as I grieve his victims and sympathize with the families of those who were killed or injured by his crimes.

But this is one of those decision points that reveals our own character as a people. Are we brutes, or are we members of a civilized nation?

Only the residents of Worcester can decide.  (Revolutionary Spirits, May 6)

The Rev. Fred Hammond draws on our Universalist heritage.

[Providing] a burial site for Tsarnaev is a very strong proclamation of the Love that loves us all, in spite of his sins, in spite of all the hatred he spewed in his acts of violence. He is still that little baby boy that his mother held close to her breasts when he was born. He is still that laughing child on his father’s knee. He is still that child of god. And the god that loves unconditionally, our Universalist forebears taught, welcomes him home. (A Unitarian Universalist Minister in the South, May 8)

The Rev. Tony Lorenzen thinks that a Unitarian Universalist congregation should provide a burial place for Tsarnaev.

An offer to bury Tsarnaev calls our community to be its best self. We call people away from trying to punish his family, his uncle, his undertaker, or anyone else who is of and by necessity involved in the process. When we continue to rant and rave about how such a monster as Tsarnaev doesn’t deserve to have his remains put in the ground and forgotten . . . we also continue to give a murderous criminal more press than he deserves . . . .  (Sunflower Chalice, May 7)

Celebrating Mother’s Day

The Rev. Lynn Ungar offers a virtual bouquet to all who do the work of mothering, no matter their gender or biological relation to their children.

I hope that sometime between now and Mother’s Day you get a quiet moment to remember the real gifts that you’ve gotten throughout the year: not only the hugs and the smiles and the sweet snuggling at bedtime, but also the moments when your child has trusted you enough to cry on your shoulder, the times when you genuinely laughed at your child’s joke or they laughed at yours, the flash of insight when you were able to see the world through their eyes. Truly, motherhood is the toughest job you’ll ever love. On a good day. (Quest for Meaning, May 8)

Sara Lewis reminds us that Mother’s Day began with Unitarian Julia Howe’s work for peace.

[As] Unitarian Universalists, we can lay claim to a tradition of seeing Mother’s Day as a day to call for peace. Yes, we still honor our own mothers, but if we expand that expression of love and caring to our global human family, if we recognize this as a day for honoring human relatedness and recognizing that peace is the only way to live if we are honoring that relatedness, then we have a holiday that is much more transformative and challenging. It is a truly religious holiday in this sense, calling us to reflect on that which binds us all together and seek to create a Beloved Community on earth. (The Children’s Chalice, May 9)

Beginning with an image created by Micah Bazant, Laura Evonne Steinman links Mother’s Day with the second UU principle of justice, equity and compassion; she writes, “To this day, many women are chained down while in labor giving birth in prison. Let us pray and work towards justice for all this Mama’s Day and always.”